Hush little baby don't you cry

These words from a very famous song has left an everlasting impact on me. You see, love is funny. Admiration is funnier. Overestimating yourself in someone else's life is a joke altogether.
For me it was the last one. I admired her.
One sided? Check.
Madness? Check.
Overestimation? Check.
If you have ever had feelings for someone just spit it out. It helps. Being a pussy like me will surely not get you anywhere. What made me a pussy? Maybe just a fear to fail. As usual.
College life is meant to be full of memories and happy moments. I have had my share of those moments. But she left a mark on me. From the moment I saw her, those hilarious Bollywood tunes started playing in my head. In short.
She came.
Played with my head.
Took me for a ride.
Left me high and dry.
All for a mistake of mine.

I said fuck off over the phone.
Two words and it went to the extent of friendship getting broken.
The admiration ended.
She left.
As I pointed out before.
Overestimation of myself in her life. 100%
I have been brutal in this post of mine using excessive foul language. But then again, do we always think clean in our mind?

Peace.

We grew up.

You know. The funniest thing about feeling that you have grown up is that, it hits you hard in the face. I think that happens all the time. It was no different with me.
Friendship. Quite a broad term isn't it? Trust me, the best moments in your life come right in front of you when you see the person whom you have treasure and respected all along, going away, dressed probably the best I have ever seen her.
Going back in time.
Marriage invitation received.
Excitement in the air.
The clock started ticking.
The countdown, my friend, began.
Coming back to the present.
When I met her she was all smiles. When I left the room, I turned back, nodded my head and showed a thumbs up to say, "You okay?"
She nodded back signalling yes with that everlasting smile of hers.
This wedding was a time well spent. There were a flurry of emotions which were popping up. 15 years of friendship and togetherness is a big thing.
She went from being a daughter and a best friend to the bride and daughter-in-law she deserves to be.
And this transformation happened overnight.
We four friends grew up together and some hours back, four came down to three.
The last goodbye, in a certain frame of mind, was the final goodbye.

But still, happiness is what she deserves and happiness is what she will get.

Beauty

Beauty is a term which is limitless. It knows no bounds. Sometimes it may end up being a very vague term. People may even hyperventilate over the term. I will not shy away from saying that I have no clue about how to describe this perfectly. What will be beautiful for me may not be the same for the person next to me. That is a fact. Tried and tested. And all that I can say about beauty is that,

She is beautiful.

Irritations.

Irritating people is sometimes a fun thing to do. On the other hand, the person enduring it may end up getting damn pissed. Well, this person in particular, is someone, who has been by my side since the beginning of this year. What was different last year? I would say, distance. Maybe a bit of shyness as well. Who knows. I can't think of a day without her. At least once. I have to see her daily. She brings about a lot of positive energy and a big smile on my face. And the very fact that I love irritating her gives me great fun. "Dont irritate yaar" is what I usually get to hear in that sweet voice of hers.
I look up to her as someone to admire and respect. That in itself shows what an impact her presence has had on me. In short, she is just bloody brilliant!

So close yet so far

For the fear of love, he said he did not want to get too close to her.

A few days back.
With someone else in the fray,

I too did the same.

PDA

I won't waste any time in explaining what the title stands for.
Now if I were to comment on whether it is right or wrong I would surely be upsetting the vast majority of the society. So its best not to tread on that path and let it be the road I would not take.
Now, where I'm standing, PDA is taken way too seriously. It's like life remains incomplete if you cannot indulge yourself into your better half. He/ She may feel that something is terribly wrong with you.
From where I see it, its bullshit. Hopelessness redefined rather. Why the hell do people not follow the most common saying in the world? "Guys get a room for God's sake."
Maybe it falls on deaf ears. I'm no person to change the society. All I can do is comment and make my opinion known. That's it.
If PDA makes people happy then so be it.
I don't give a *beep* about them.
What brings happiness to me? Making a  mockery out of them.
Oh and ya. Football of course.

Expectations

Expectations. This word to me has one implication. Hope.
Something when expected, gives me happiness. And when it ends up in disappointment it takes up the form of frustration. For me, frustration knows no limits. People do different things when frustrated. Maybe talk about it to someone. They share. They feel happy. I have nobody. Nobody to share things with. Had I been at home, would things have been different? Probably. But here? No chance. Not even a bit. Sometimes you learn to embrace loneliness and if you ask me, I think I have already become a master of it. Will the society find it funny? Will people laugh at me? Will they console me? Sometimes consolation becomes the easiest thing for people to do. They say many things. But, do they mean it? Highly unlikely. Life shows you many things. Teaches you more. And now, from where I'm looking, I can't see anyone either side of me.

Home away from home.

What is home? A place where you stay? Surely. A place where you should be? Maybe. A place where you are right now? JGU.
Life takes turns at every corner. Took one for me as well. However in my case, the turning happened when I took a left turn and into the gates of my newly found home. Jindal Global University.
Things were bound to change right? Was that how the script was written? Maybe.
A certain number of years down the line when I'm on my death bed and wondering what I did in my life, just one thing should stand out. Entering through the gates. Wind blowing. Sun shining. Tears rolling. New faces. Friends who would eventually mean the world to you.
As a year and a half passes by, I am left to contemplate on what could have been. And if you ask me, I would not have taken it any different. Keeping aside the occasional gloomy moments, I can happily say that my life is at the moment absolutely worth living.
The main thing in college apart from friendship is love.
Love as they say, is lovely.
And from personal experience, its been quite a bitch for me. I won't comment on it further than that.
For many people life takes a turn for either the better or worse. Till now, for me all I can say is that it took a turn in the right direction.
I still have many more stories to write in my life chapter. I'm not done. Not yet.

Smile and a Goodbye

Three months of hard work. Three months of tiredness. Three months of memories. I can say that getting to know her properly was the best thing to happen to me. It all started from a small text after a certain sociology presentation. It said, " Mayuk tell na, honestly, how was my presentation? "
That was the start. Start of a friendship which will last for years and years to come. That's for sure. Both of us will ensure that.
Caring. Understanding. Helpful. She personifies all of this.
I'm there for her and she's there for me.
Call her for help in the middle of the night and I assure you she will do everything to get it done.
She's a blessing in disguise.
The best part? Which topped it all?
4 p.m. Day I was leaving. I texted her something and it brought the killer smile of hers on her face. That made my day. Made sure I can stay away for the 10 day duration.
Some people come and go. She, however, is here to stay.

Food and a Brother

Food.
What does it imply? Necessity? Urge?

For me,it is satisfaction. Food in college mess is bad. Very bad. I am sure it is the same for pretty much every place. It is nothing different in mine.

I have a friend. A close one. More so, friend is an understatement. Brother is apt. Tastes match. Likes and dislikes match as well. Food is what we both love.

It's an incident of around two weeks back. I couldn't eat in the mess. Just imagine. It shows how bad the food was. We met in my room. He saw me feeling hungry. To make matters worse I was out of cash.

We talked a bit. After that he left.

Moments later, he comes back, with a bowl of roasted chicken in his hand. I asked, "Why?"

"Because you were hungry,bro"

These words made my day.

Sometimes in life the smallest of things leave the biggest of impacts. And for me, this, so far, was the one.

I owe my life to him. My friend. My brother.

Farewell

38 seconds is all it took. Almost 2 months since Steven Gerrard announced that he would take the flight to Los Angeles come July, people all over the world came to be flooded with emotions. But as luck would have it, when it's Gerrard in the equation, there can never be a good ending. Am I being pessimistic? Maybe. Maybe not. Or maybe it's just a case of highlighting the facts and subsequent truth. Take last season as a start. Liverpool. Excellent form. Check. Lethal strike-force. Check. Title on the cards. Check. Slip. Check. Wait, what? That was surely not in the script. Sunny afternoon game against fellow rivals Chelsea. Bus parked. Frustrating 90 minutes. Captain, leader, legend slipped. Ball rolled into the path of the striker to ultimately hand the title to City.
Even a neutral would agree to the fact that Gerrard deserved to win it. For the first time and who knows, maybe for the last time.
This year its been a completely different story. Dropped from the team on numerous occasions and suffering with a few injuries. Keeping the problems aside, he still is a top class player. But the saddest part? He will go down in history as the player who could not win the league. And the game on Sunday, made it even more bitter.

Mayukh Kumar